Whirlwind Wednesday 6/11

Sometimes I feel like Dory in Finding Nemo:



We're still in the thick of it with Papa Bear working 7 days a week. I barely even know what day of the week it is any more, since there is so little variation in our daily routine right now. I just keep trying to remind myself to be thankful that my husband is busy working; esp. with so many health expenses for Fidget at the moment. And while it seems it's been going on for ages, I know it won't last forever. Just keep swimming....

Fidget is now fully recovered from his ear tube/adenoid surgery. We had our follow-up visit last Friday, and not only do his ears look good, he also passed his hearing test! Before surgery he was showing a 30% deficit in both ears, so this is a huge relief. We'll continue following up with his ENT every four months until the tubes are out. He's not a fan of his ear plugs, but hopefully will get used to them over time. I got an email from his ABA therapy provider today, asking for me to confirm his availability for sessions, so hopefully this means we will get that ball rolling soon. Unfortunately, I'm still waiting to hear from his new occupational therapist, so I put in a call to our case worker. There aren't very many OTs working for early intervention in this area, so hopefully we can finally get in touch with her and get things started; I'd hate to have to fire her before even meeting her, and I've heard that once she gets going she's really good for kids with sensory issues. We're also in the process of trying some diet modifications to see if they will help; I'm slowly removing dairy from his diet and it does seem like his bowels have improved, so hopefully we'll see some of his other physical issues improve as well.

And speaking of poop, someone used the potty for the first time this week! I'm not at all trying to potty train him yet, but he was in the tub and kept asking to sit on the potty. Once he was able to pee a little, and once had the smallest poop I've ever seen. I think he was mainly asking b/c he likes to flush the toilet, but at least is shows that he has some control over his elimination functions. Hopefully we can tackle this together with our ABA therapists; not only does he not have the ability right now to communicate a need to go, he also doesn't have the motor skills to get clothes off & on. And with is tendency to engage in fecal smearing, I worry that he'll go but then play in it. <sigh> But I can't get ahead of myself, no sense in worrying about those things until we're there. For now I suppose I need to either get a new little potty, or an insert to put over the toilet, so that we're ready to go when his therapists are.


Sunshine had fun pulling Fidget around the yard before dinner tonight. Right after I snapped this he chuckled and said "Car-car!"













Sunshine is still chipping away at first grade; she's either done or almost done with most of her primary curriculum, but she still needs about 30 more school days to meet the state's requirement, so I've brought in some fun, supplemental things. Lots of Rainbow Loom-ing going on for art, I recently restocked her with bands, got a storage box for all of them, and got her one of the new little Monster Looms. She definitely seems to have an easier time with that one than the full sized one, which she will get all the bands placed on but then pawn the looping part on to me. We've also got a new reading curriculum that has her reading actual books instead of readers; the books are a bit simple for her reading level, but it makes her think about comprehension more than she is used to, so overall it is a good balance. Our math book has been replaced by a book of logic puzzles (though we're still working on fact memorization on the side). and we're taking our time to go in-depth on her current science chapter about space.  Yesterday we started painting a wooden solar system mobile kit I got from Amazon, and she has a Magic School Bus chapter book on space for her free reading. We're definitely moving at a slower summer pace though so she has time to play with her neighborhood friends, and for formal summer activities. Tomorrow she finishes up two weeks of swim lessons, and next week she will attend Vacation Bible School. Then we'll have some (relatively) quiet weeks before she and a troopmate have a 3 day/2 night resident camp session. She's had sleepovers with family plenty of times, but this will be her first time sleeping at camp, and with no family accompanying her I know she's a bit nervous. It does help some that she went with her troop up to this camp for a service unit at the end of May, so she at least is a little familiar plus excited to see more. And I attended this same camp as a girl, and am confident that she'll settle in and make friends quickly, and will be too busy having fun to think about missing us. She's also excited about some of the new camping gear I'm getting her. I could have bought it more over time, and some things could probably wait, but I figure by buying it now she'll get more use for the money than if we waited a year or two.

I wish I could say I had something fun and exciting planned for Father's Day, but since we don't know yet if Papa Bear will be working I really can't plan anything. I'm also trying, though not succeeding, to avoid thinking about the fact that this is the first Father's Day since my dad passed away. But it seems like lots of things keep popping up to bring him to my mind. All happy memories, but the timing makes them bittersweet.






My Daddy holding little 3 day old me



Papa Bear has gotten a couple of his gifts early, because Sunshine is pretty much the worst secret keeper ever, and was busting at the seams to give it to him. A few days ago we gave him this gorgeous rosary from cordbands.com

And today this came in for him from Amazon. Not really a gift, per se, but I know he needs the organizational space and will appreciate it over time. One thing that is sorely lacking in our house is storage for all of his tools and lawn equipment, so hopefully getting the big long stuff out of his main storage cabinet will make it easier for him to put some shelving in to organize the rest of it.

I do have one more gift up my sleeve for him, but that one I'm not even telling Aubrey about, and he'll really have to wait for this one.




None of the above links are affiliate links, I'm receiving no compensation for sharing them. Pictures are from the websites where the products are being sold.



As for me, aside from just holding down the fort I've been working on planning some home improvement projects, particularly redecorating the kids room now that Fidget is in a twin bed. They actually still had their "nursery" decor up, which we chose while pregnant with Sunshine, so I figure we got good money out of it, esp as nursery themes go. I'll have to wait on Papa Bear to carry out most of the execution, but I always have fun with the planning stages as much as the actual project. But for now there is a bed across the house calling my name. Many days lately I have stayed up late to work on domestic duties, but they'll have to all wait for another day.

Mom on Wheels and Papa Bear - The love story endures tragedy

Welcome to the third installment of my love story with Papa Bear. You can read part one (the setup) here and part two (our dating, engagement, and marriage) here. Tonight is the climax of our story, as our vows are tested sooner than either of us expected.

It was March 24, 2005. Barely 5 months since Papa Bear and I were married. On this particular night he was only working an eight hour shift in the ER, so he had some time at home to himself as I headed in to start my 12hr shift on another unit of the same hospital. I had served and picked up dinner trays, and transferred one of our frequent patients to ICU. It was right at 8pm, I was checking the blood pressure of a 15mo little boy with sickle cell disease, when suddenly both of my legs from the knees down felt numb and tingly; just like when you sit on your foot and it "falls asleep." I finished my work with that patient, and went out to ponder the situation at the nurse's station.

You see, nearly 4 years prior on May 1, 2001, I had experienced an attack of a rare autoimmune disorder, Transverse Myelitis. The inflammation in my spinal cord had caused me to lose motor function in about six hours. Thankfully, I started to get return of function after about 2.5 weeks, and by the end of 2001 was almost completely recovered. But that attack had started with back pain and chest tightness, not leg numbness. And while not unheard of a second attack was extremely rare. I told my coworkers what was going on, trying to convince them and myself that it couldn't be TM again, but deep down my heart was gripped by fear.

After an hour of no improvement, I called my neurologist's clinic; but it was still so early the on call doc encouraged me to give it more time, but not hesitate to call back. 30 minutes later I was on the phone with him again; not only was it still not better, it was getting worse! I expressed to him how quickly my symptoms had come on the first time, and he knew even already being in hospital I didn't have time to sit in the ER. He said he would be on his way, and would examine me in an empty room on my unit. While he was on his way, I called Papa Bear and had him come up to be with me, as well as my parents. Meanwhile I was continuing to work as much as I could. Partly because I didn't want to leave my coworkers with a lot of unfinished tasks, but partly (though I couldn't confess my feelings to them) because I had a feeling paralysis was imminenet, and I didn't know how long it would be until I walked again.

By 11pm the on-call doctor had me admitted as a direct admit, and began writing orders. Around 1am, I asked my husband and (male) nurse to help me on to a bedside commode to use the bathroom, and these two strong guys nearly dropped me. During those two hours in bed, the function had left my lower body, never to return. In time it was confirmed that I did have a second attack of Transverse Myelitis, but over two years of physical and aquatic therapy yielded only minimal improvements.

Those two years were two of the hardest of my life. I had to learn how to live as independently as possible while in a wheelchair. Both Papa Bear and I had to adjust to him now being both my husband and caregiver. Our income was cut in half, but our expenses much larger due to medical bills and ongoing treatment costs. The reality of our situation caused Papa Bear to battle depression, and a bad medication adjustment found him briefly receiving inpatient psychiatric care. But as hard as they were in the moment, I can see them as such a gift now. Having conquered so many major challenges so early in our marriage, we are now even more confident that we can weather any challenges we face. We'll have our tenth anniversary this upcoming fall, and I love him more each day. It's not always easy, but every day I choose to stay in love with him and work to get past any hurdles attempting to block the path of our marriage.

As well, while I was initially in the hospital I received both the anointing of the sick and our priest prayed for the intercession of now-St. John Paul II, as I was still in hospital when he died. Some people say they didn't "work" because I am still disabled, but they provided me with tremendous spiritual healing. I can now accept and say with certainty that whatever divine purpose my life has, it is evidently something I can't accomplish as an able-bodied woman. I choose to embrace my disability rather than hide from it, so that I am able to carry out God's will for my life.

Mom on Wheels and Papa Bear - A Love Story (Pt 2)

Welcome to the second part of the story of my relationship with Papa Bear. You can find part one here.

As Papa Bear pulled into my parents driveway that Sunday to pick me up for our first date, my excitement grew. What is it about a southern boy in a pickup truck that is so irresistible? And lucky for me he turned out to be quite the gentleman too! Once we got back to his house I offered to help him with his preparations, and ended up peeling potatoes for him while we got to know each other. (And to this day, one of our favorite things is to be cooking together in the kitchen.) I told him about being a hospital nursing assistant, and he told me about being a volunteer firefighter. I was impressed and shared with him the story of the only time I'd ever needed to use my CPR skills outside of the hospital, about four months prior at my BFF's wedding reception. An older family member on her new husband's side collapsed, and I did chest compressions on the woman until some fire fighters and eventually the ambulance responded. Coincidentally he said he once ran a similar call, and after discussing more details we eventually realized we were talking about the same incident. He had been the first person from the fire department to arrive, and taken over chest compressions from me! As soon as he connected the dots, he said to me, "So you were the cute blonde in the little black dress!" Talk about scoring some major brownie points! I couldn't believe that here we were in the middle of trying to save this woman, we only had a passing encounter, and he remembered me after all that time.

The rest of the day went well, and by the time he brought me home we had arranged a dinner date for Friday evening. But I didn't have to wait until Friday to see him again; we actually ended up either seeing or talking to each other every day that week. On our first date I knew he was something special, and by Friday I was already growing certain he was *the one*. Not that I wasn't guarding myself, or that I was falling too fast, but having been with my previous boyfriend for four years, and having a string of one-time dates in between the two, I had a very clear picture of what I wanted in a man, and what I wouldn't tolerate. He wasn't Catholic like I was, but he was at least a man of strong Christian faith, and the one thing I wanted nothing to do with - his smoking - he was willing to give up, and did so after our first date.

Our relationship blossomed quickly. Our mutual friend/matchmaker, Cable Guy, was engaged, and after a short while we started joking with he and his fiance that we were talking about marriage too. Then we started talking between each other, what if it wasn't a joke, and we really did consider getting married? Before long the "if" in our conversation turned to a "when", he saved up some money, and about 3 1/2 months after we met he proposed just after Thanksgiving. If anyone else told me they were getting engaged so soon I'd think they were crazy, but in my heart I knew we were different, that this marriage was meant to be. The one thing I insisted on was that we be married in the Catholic church, which meant he would have to agree to raising our children Catholic as well. While Christian in his beliefs and upbringing, he was not practicing any particular denomination at that time, and had no problem agreeing to my request, as he recognized my faith was very important to me.

We were married in October 2004, only 14 months after our first date. The beginning of our marriage could not have been more perfect. By this time he was working in the ER at the same hospital where I was a CNA, and after our wedding and honeymoon I had switched from day to night shift, so that we were working at the same time. Most nights we were able to commute together, and we always tried to coordinate our dinner breaks; either he would come up to my unit to eat with me, or I would go down to the ER to eat with him. I can't imagine a more perfect newlywed period, but sadly it was quite short lived.

To read about the event that shook our marriage, and changed our lives forever, read part 3.

Papa Bear and Mom on Wheels - A Love Story (Pt 1)

As I'm still pretty new here, which means most of you are new to me, I'd like to tell you a bit more about all of us beyond what you'll find in the "About Us" section. Tonight I'll be writing about my relationship with Papa Bear; it's a great story and I don't want to leave anything out, so I'll be breaking it into parts. Each of the kids will also get their own post in the next few days.

When I moved back to my home state after attending an out-of-state university, it was with the expectation that my long-term boyfriend would be joining me in time. He actually came down here when I moved, and put in lots of job applications. We talked daily, but after about a month he told me he was no longer satisfied with the state of our relationship, and wanted some "space". (Umm, 1000+ miles wasn't enough space??) I told him that if after four years he wanted his space, then he could have it, and hung up the phone. That was the last time I spoke to him for about a year - more on that later.

After a couple of months, I started going out to try and meet new people, and some of my coworkers tried fixing me up as well. It was into August now, and I was preparing to resume my studies at a smaller college near home. My parents were going on a weekend trip, and all week long I was back and forth whether or not I wanted to go with them, and ultimately decided that being the last weekend before classes started that I'd rather stay home and get prepared. This seemingly simple decision wound up changing the course of my whole life.

While they were gone, they asked me to stick around home one afternoon so the cable company could send out a service technician. Lo and behold, the cable guy turned out to be an old friend from grade school. We sat and caught up, with me filling him in on my recent move back home and current relationship status, and before he left he asked for my number to pass on to his best friend, who was also single. Despite not talking to his friend, he promised I would receive a phone call by the end of that night. That night however, I had a blind date; one of my coworkers was fixing me up with a coworker of her husband, so I wasn't sure how it would turn out. That blind date was a DISASTER, I had nothing in common with this guy, and probably spent more time talking to my coworker and her daughter than my "date". But in a case of perfect timing, while the two guys were out picking up pizza, my phone rang.

Now as Papa Bear tells it, he was sitting at home minding his own business, when his friend - my cable guy - stops in and starts going on and on about crossing paths with some girl he knew ages ago. Then Cable Guy dropped a bombshell: he's already promised this girl that she'd get a phone call by the end of the night, so Papa Bear had better take this number and call this girl so he doesn't screw things up. And call the girl he did.

As I was still trying to be polite to my coworker for her attempts to fix me up, I told my unknown caller I wasn't able to talk right then, but I'd call later when I got back home. Papa Bear was convinced I was blowing him off, and was quite surprised when I actually kept my word and returned his call. We ended up having a great conversation, during which he invited me to a barbecue he was throwing at his house the next afternoon. I told him that sounded great but I was without access to a car, so he said as long as I didn't mind coming over early while he was cooking, he'd be happy to come pick me up.

The next day I was filled with nervous excitement, a feeling I hadn't experienced in a very long time. I was actually ready early, and peeking out the front windows waiting for him to show up! How would things turn out?? Well, you know the end result, but to find out what happened you'll have to read part two!